Lovers and fighters, assemble!

Singin' in the Rain

In literature, we identify character archetypes in the cast of players in stories to help us understand the narrative were reading.  So, too, go the archetypes in real life.  I’ve noticed that women identify the men they get involved with by their respective character traits: the asshole, the nice guy, the boring one, the ladies man.  Being single has a funny way of making you hyper-aware of what it is you’re seeking while you’re en route to meet a guy on a date, or when you’re going out with your friends at a bar, or in a complete unromantic setting where you all of a sudden find yourself praying your future husband will just be there in line behind you about to order a Starbucks.

To help me and my fellow ladies out, I’ve compiled a list of archetypes I have come to find that the average woman is looking for.  Qualified applicants are encouraged to apply.  Men who somehow identify with all of the below characteristics should holler.

1.  The Funny But Not-Too-Funny Funny Guy.  There’s nothing better than laughter.  It’s the best medicine, the great equalizer, the easiest way to someone’s heart.  Time always passes by quickly when laughter is involved.  Make me giggle and you’re off to a good start.

2.  The Dinner Party Arm Candy.  Everyone wants someone they can bring to a dinner party.  It’s a litmus test of sorts.  Bring a good-looking, well-dressed boy to a dinner party for your friends, who don’t say it out loud but are one hundred percent judging your date, and by the end there aren’t any questions if he stays or goes.  Besides, if I want to show you off to my friends in staged dinner party setting, I probably want to take you home later.

3.  The Sensitive Sports Enthusiast.  I don’t understand most sports for the life of me, but I like watching them just as much as the next person.  Guys who loves sports and care the perfect amount about sports are endearing.  Throw in a little football with someone who doesn’t mind coming along with me to an art museum and I’m hooked.

4.  The Believable Bullshit Artist. It’s unfortunately true that a little bit of bullshit makes things slightly more interesting.  I’m all about honesty, but if you’re the kind of guy that’s been spewing lines at ladies his whole life, you probably can’t even help yourself.  So, I’m giving you an out.  Plus, a little smooth talkin’ doesn’t hurt every now and then, as long as you know how to strike a balance.

5.  The Man with the Accent.  Some people go weak in the knees for a great bod, others for grand gestures or pick-up lines.  I, on the other hand, hear an accent – Southern especially, but South African and British come in a close second, and the ever-endearing crassness of the Boston accent follows that one – and its game over for me.  Come on ladies, who doesn’t hope for a charming Southern gentleman to play cowboys and indians with?  Must love country music.

6.  A Gentleman Among Men.  No explanation needed.

Even if you think you are, you’re probably not as Casanovian as you might think.  So do us all a favor, tap into some of these archetypes within you, and give a little PMA.  It’s all anybody really needs sometimes.

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